Lonely But Not Alone

Today I thought I'd write something about something that's been on my heart for awhile and was prompted by a conversation I had over dinner with my roommate and my roommate's girlfriend. She told me that I didn't have any friends that I met at college. Sadly she is correct. I haven't met any friends while I've been at college. The only people that I've ever hung around with I've known previously from Williamsburg. This was further compounded by the fact that our hall held a Christmas party on Wednesday and I knew only two out of the hundred or so people there. So between those two events, it caused me to look back and examine the fact. Now this isn't to say I'm this social recluse while at college. I do know people from my job that I work with. However, this is the only time that I see them because most of them are upperclassmen that live off campus. This leaves me with a group of people that I've known from Williamsburg. This group has been my primary group of people that I've hung around with. This circle is fairly small and consists of about four people. More and more recently I've felt more and more lonely and often spend most of my meals alone. It's fine with me. I'm an introvert at heart and being by myself doesn't bother me too much. However, when I look out to my friends and see them making friends and having good experiences it makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong? Maybe it's a fear of rejection or opening up to people, maybe it's just not wanting to meet new people? I'm not quite sure. But either way, I'm slowly realizing how lonely my life is. Don't get me wrong I've got around ten really good friends that I cherish deeply. I'm glad I know who my real friends are after high school after around 90% of them decided not to talk to me anymore. I wish I would have known this sooner. Part of me wants to reach out and meet new people. Part of me doesn't know how. Part of me isn't sure if it's worth it. I do know that while I may feel lonely at college, I do have a heavenly Father that is always there watching over me and is always there walking by my side. It's definitely something that I may have to work on but for now, I don't know where to go from here. Just thought I'd share something that's been on my mind.

Until next time
-Michael